I really love my wife. She is beautiful, friendly and has a quirky sense of humour. But this is not what I love about her the most. I realised everyone who spends more than 10 minutes with her gets to see these things. I realised there is another layer that I love. It is much deeper than the outward display we put on for the world. You have to be around someone a lot before you even get to see them. I mean you see them, but you do not really get to see them until you have created a space where they are able to show themselves. A safe place where showing their true self can be done without risk.
What I love about my wife is her spirit. She kisses horse noses. Sometimes she photographs flowers with the sky behind them. The smile she makes when our children surprise us with their brilliance. The energy she has when someone she loves needs her.
What I have noticed in these sometimes brief times, my beautiful wife is letting her true self shine. The real self. The self we are so scared to show, the self we want to protect or have simply lost the connection with.
I am not as beautiful as her, well not in the terms of what I think society outwardly measures, but I know she loves me. I actually do not know the moments when she truly sees who I am, but after 18 years, I am sure she knows when my authentic self is shining through.
Imagine for a moment that a lot more of us spent a lot more of our time being who we truly are. Not bowing down to what society says we should be and how we should behave. But being honest and authentic in our daily lives. Saying sorry, when it is our fault. Giving thanks and compliments to those around us for the little marvelous things they do. Impacting people with free and open gratitude for the coffee they made you or the food they served you. Meeting strangers with genuine smiles and salutations that impact their day. Living moment to moment in a thankful state for the moment you have been given. Imagine if we all tried to live like this all the time.
We all have moments like these. Moments when things are just right and we can not help but let our inner self shine. When there is a sparkle in your eyes and a spring in your step. Usually, these times are the result of some positive circumstance that has befallen you. It might be a wedding, a birth or you are in love. Whatever the circumstances are, you can not hold back your true self in these moments. In these moments your true self shines for the world to see.
I propose this state is something that we can all just choose to be in more. We have all had these moments. Moments when we take the time to see what is actually going on and realise the amazing life we are all passing through. We can just choose to live more of the time there and less in the hustle and bustle that we might have come to know as our lives.
Difficulty at work, money troubles, study pressure, health problems, relationship hardships etc …… You can not pass through this life without some if not all of the above. This is basically a guarantee. We need to stop making these things the focus of our lives. The other guarantee is all things pass, one way or another.
The constant thing in life is: my wife loves horses’ noses, bad stuff will come and go. But kissing a horse’s nose makes her happy. It makes me happy when I see her smile after doing that. We are all in very deep with the bullshit we call our lives. We are not going to wake up tomorrow and it all goes away. But I think we can all let the beautiful, illuminating, inspiring inner us shine for just one minute every day. Show this to someone in our day. Give them permission to do the same. One moment when you pause for a beautiful part of nature or when you really thank the barista for your coffee or when you stop to really listen to a friend in trouble.
It is scary. Being true to yourself and who you really are. You might be ridiculed. You could show the true, honest, authentic you and people might use it against you. That could happen.
Alternatively, you could be the ripple needed to change the world for the better. Get out there and let yourself shine bright. The world needs more positive, authentic beautiful people just like you. Start today, start moment by moment, and never stop.
At 43 years old, I can earnestly say I am addicted to learning and will be a student for life. I had been waiting to feel like a grown-up, but lately, have come to realise I am probably as grown up as I will ever be. I enjoy positively influencing people, growing vegetables and trying to make things with my hands.